Preemptive defence against perceived judgement; signals the speaker’s intent to avoid appearing as if they hold the trait they’re discussing.

To position oneself as lacking the undesirable quality before stating potentially critical or contentious information, thereby reducing defensiveness.

When giving criticism, making a remark that could be interpreted negatively, especially when addressing performance issues or policy decisions.

Informal conversation among peers, workplace discussions where tone matters, and any setting involving potential interpersonal conflict.

I’m not being; but

I’m not being; but

any negative or undesirable attribute such as racist, sexist, mean, difficult, etc.

• I’m not being rude
• but…
• I’m not being critical
• but…
• I’m not being difficult
• but…

• "I don’t mean to be …
• but …"

Using past tense: *I’m not been* instead of present continuous form.

"Not that I’m …, but …"

Learners may struggle with the social function or misinterpret the tone as genuine apology rather than deflection.

• preemptive defence frames

The phrase is almost always followed by a statement that could otherwise be read as exhibiting the negative trait being denied (e.g., saying something critical can sound rude).

Reduces perceived offence; often used ironically to soften criticism and maintain rapport.

‘I’m not being + adjective, but…’

This phrase can be particularly useful in professional or formal settings where maintaining a positive tone is crucial.

“I’m not being pessimistic, but I think we should prepare for the worst.”